Rebecca and I have a curious ritual whenever we leave the flat. Unless she’s taking (one of) her handbag(s) with her she will proudly announce that she isn’t carrying any money or her keys, presumably as a reminder to me that I need to make sure that I am. Of course she always waits until after we’ve left before saying this.
For my part, usually I say nothing. Sometimes I remark that it might be more helpful if she told me while we were still indoors. This time I was halfway through allowing the door to slam shut when I remembered that I had put my keys and wallet on my desk while changing trousers and had clean forgotten to pick them back up.
Luckily the flat is not entirely secure and has a backdoor. Or more precisely a back window. I was able to raise it high enough for Rebecca to clamber inside and safely retrieve the keys. And all without attracting the attention of the police.
Rebecca and I were on our way along the river bank when I pointed to a patch of vegetation and asked "Do you know what those are?"
She said "No."
"Those are nettles. We call them stinging nettles. If you touch them you will hurt your hand."
She nodded. I carried on walking.
A few seconds later I heard a high pitched squeal from behind me. Sure enough there she was nursing her hand and complaining that she "won’t try that again."
Rebecca now has a driving licence. And with this she was able to convince the bank that she really does live with me. As soon as they send her a copy statement she’ll be able to get her Capital One 40% APR credit card For Dummies which will help her build up a credit history.
Things are looking up and the secret was getting her Hong Kong driving licence. Because HK is on the DVLA’s special list she was able to exchange her licence for a UK one with no questions asked. Without that she would have had to take a test to get a UK licence.
Hint to anyone migrating to this cesspit of a country: take your driving test first!
Rebecca will want to find a job, even a temp position, rather than sit around at home watching TV while I’m at work. But she won’t be able to be paid without a bank account.