Rebecca and I have a curious ritual whenever we leave the flat. Unless she’s taking (one of) her handbag(s) with her she will proudly announce that she isn’t carrying any money or her keys, presumably as a reminder to me that I need to make sure that I am. Of course she always waits until after we’ve left before saying this.

For my part, usually I say nothing. Sometimes I remark that it might be more helpful if she told me while we were still indoors. This time I was halfway through allowing the door to slam shut when I remembered that I had put my keys and wallet on my desk while changing trousers and had clean forgotten to pick them back up.

Luckily the flat is not entirely secure and has a backdoor. Or more precisely a back window. I was able to raise it high enough for Rebecca to clamber inside and safely retrieve the keys. And all without attracting the attention of the police.